Self-Forgiveness

     Hi everyone, I hope you all had a good weekend. This is my favorite time of year, and I have been thoroughly enjoying all of the weird weather here in the Pacific NW.

     Over the past week, I got together with several friends, and one way or another this topic came up, and I decided to talk about it. Our human nature is to dwell on the things we have done wrong.

     Although I have been just as guilty of this as anyone else, I feel that I have come a long way. Sure I still doubt, and sometimes think of things I could have said or done better, but for the most part I can let things go.

     In the grand scheme of things, our lives are very short. However, being human means that you on occasion offend other humans, sometimes even significantly hurt their feelings, and a month can feel like a year when there is tension between two people who were once close.

     Unfortunately, even when we resolve these issues, we have tendencies to replay that moment in time over and over and begin to not only dwell on the mistake, but let that define who we are. "I am a horrible person because I said this, or let this happen". Everyone makes mistakes. We must learn to accept it, take responsibility for it, find it within ourselves to forgive and move on.

     I, personally ask forgiveness on three levels: I ask the Lord for His forgiveness (please don't judge, this is simply my process and does not have to be yours). Then I ask forgiveness from the person I have wronged. The last is probably the absolute hardest one for me; I ask myself to stop blaming myself and to forgive me. Then I try my best to pick up the pieces and move on.

     I understand that there are circumstances where you don't get the opportunity to make it right with the other person, in which case it is often a lot harder to forgive yourself. This is when I count my blessings. You guessed it, I make a list! I write down everyone who is currently in my life loving and supporting me. People who know my worth and make me feel good when I am around them. If I was really such a horrible person, would I attract such love from others? I am probably being too hard on myself. You are only human, and unfortunately this will probably not be the last mistake you ever make.

     To all my friends currently hurting, I want nothing more than for you to see that you are worthy of forgiveness, and you are not defined by the mistakes you make.

I wish I could forgive myself for the amount of odd pictures people have been able to take of me...