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Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Crohn's Disease and Self Love

     Wow, it sure has been a long time. I thought I had written everything there was to write about self image... And then I got sick.

     I have had yet another surgery on my nose- reconstructive this time. I was not allowed to lift weights for 6 months and for the first time, I experienced muscle atrophy as well as significant weight gain. When I finally got the go ahead for getting back in the gym, I was experiencing major fatigue and stomach pain. I felt like I was dying. As of July of last year, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. 

     Although I am grateful for answers, this disease has taken a huge toll on my confidence and self image. Chronic illness is not always visible and often very difficult to talk about.

     I am a massive extrovert and need constant companionship, however for the first time in my life I didn't want to be near people, and would opt to stay home for a weekend over getting out of the house and doing something with friends. My relationships have suffered over the last year, and I am still struggling to find balance.

     My greatest joy still comes from expressing myself through makeup and fashion, and helping others do the same. I lost view of that while wallowing in self pity, but am slowly picking up the pieces.

     If you are struggling with loving yourself, grab hold of those who lift your spirits and redefine/rediscover your passion. 

     Loving the person in the mirror has very little to do with what you're physically looking at. You are loved. You are worth it.