The idea that I may go through more physical pain and recovery just to find that I still don't look like myself gave me a slight panic attack. I know that my nose is not the first thing people see when they look at me. I also know that my broken nose is very slight compared to a lot of other broken noses, my doctor even told me he has seen far worse. I know I shouldn't be concerned with this, and in the grand scheme of things I should be happy that I didn't lose my eye and that all my injuries could have been much worse.
I am human, and I have fears. Some rational, and some not. I had a dream this week, that the surgeon didn't put me under, and without warning, bopped the side of my nose with a hammer, nodded, and said "That worked". Logically I know this is not what will happen to me, but I can't help but think about it.
My bones and bruises will heal. Over time my anxiety as a passenger in a vehicle will will fade and I can eventually forget the accident. I have learned over the past couple weeks just how wonderful my life really is. My husband is the most amazing person in my life, and I have the best friends. My in-laws are some of the most compassionate and kind people. My family is thoughtful and generous. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people, and this has made me realize how much I take for granted on a daily basis.
I know that no matter what my face looks like, I am beautiful. This is what should matter to me most. I have people in my life that will love me no matter what. I have qualities and talents that will not go away just because my face isn't as attractive as I think it should be. There are much larger issues in this world. I need to count my blessings.
Thank you for letting me ramble.