During the Thanksgiving hustle and bustle, I managed to see Frozen in the theater. Without giving anything away, the main villain of the movie has a lot to do with fears, and one of the underlying themes is finding yourself and sharing what you find with others. Also, there is a musical number in the movie called "Let It Go". All of these things are what I would like to talk about today.
Why do most people conceal who they really are in any given situation? Because of fear. Any amount of fear can be debilitating. I can remember as a teenager, I thought I had excellent style after I started buying my own clothes, until a group of girls my age made fun of me. That made me so wary of being who I was. I was scared of what others thought of me. All of sudden the thoughts of others became a concern of mine. Why? I never saw those girls again. Why would there be a long term affect? Why would I go from confident to insecure over a comment and some laughter by complete strangers? My bubble was popped. I had this beautiful innocent vision of the way things were, and someone pooped on it.
The insecurities from my eating disorders had been long forgotten and then abruptly thrown back in my face. I would stare at myself in the mirror for way too long analyzing what was "wrong" with me physically. I would pick at myself, including over tweezing my eyebrows and putting way too much makeup on to try and hide what my face really looked like. I discovered the hair straightener and became crazy about not wearing my hair curly (I still sort of have this issue...). I tried really hard to be what I thought other people thought I should be and continued to fail miserably.
Do you want in on a secret? People don't think about you. I know that sounds brash, but hear me out. When you interact with strangers daily, the people you may run into have a million things swirling around in their brain just like you do. If someone says something unkind to you out of impatience or stress (I am unfortunately guilty of this myself), you will typically think on this for far more time then the offender(s). For instance, when someone says something nice to me, it makes my day and I remember it. This exact scenario can also happen when someone is rude, but I don't usually think about that for nearly the amount of time as a compliment. The person who said or did those things most of the time will not think twice about it once it is said and done. Of course there are wonderful people in this world who genuinely feel bad after a distasteful interaction with a stranger, but not for more than 24 hours typically.
I am not nearly close to the self image I would find ideal, but I would say I am for the most part; confident. I have already beat the dead horse as far as talking about making lists, so I won't spend time reiterating (but it really works!), but I will say that the practice of letting go can do wonders for your self esteem. I am not suggesting that you become apathetic, nor am I saying you should never care about what people think. Sometimes the criticism of others can enlighten you or change you for better. I like to take a tiny amount of time to reflect on what was said or done to me. This includes asking myself the following questions: Is this interaction a reflection on something I said or did? Did I do something wrong? Did that person sound stressed or hurried? If it was a reaction to something I did, I plan on not doing or saying that thing again, but if there is no lesson to be learned I have to chalk it up to the fact that the other person was having a bad day. Maybe they found out they have cancer, or lost a loved one, or something as simple as they are running late. Be forgiving. Don't be the person who is easily offended.
I have a saying that a lot of my close friends make fun of me for; "I do what I want", now if you know me, you know that I would never be intentionally unkind to anyone, so this mantra is basically saying "I'm going to be myself". I make a fool of myself on a regular basis. I am probably the butt of many jokes because of the silly things I say and do publicly. I would have zero time to do anything else if I stewed over everything that other people thought was stupid. Somewhere along the line I decided to do what I want. I am not a mean spirited person. I love who I am and who I become daily. I know that I would not have as many friends as I do if I wasn't nice. I love life and attempt to pull others into my silliness as often as I can.
Please, I am begging you, do not waste time with worries over something so small as what others may think of you. Life is too short to be someone else. You are too good. God made us all unique. Yes we have similarities, but no one can be a better you. Learn to love what is different about you rather than wondering if you fit in. Let it go.
http://youtu.be/1LF0RedPmYo
Here is a sequel to my last video, if you haven't already seen it. This is an example of how I do what I want.
http://youtu.be/1LF0RedPmYo
Here is a sequel to my last video, if you haven't already seen it. This is an example of how I do what I want.
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