After a week of riding trams up mountains, hiking to see glaciers, kissing in front of waterfalls, wildlife cruises, local sight seeing and tons of visiting with family, I feel regenerated.
I'm not sure where to start, so I'll start with the sweet things my niece said while I was there. I don't typically go anywhere without "putting my face on" first. I don't really think twice about it, doing my hair and makeup before leaving the house is a routine that doesn't change on vacation. I honestly hadn't even given it much thought that my niece had been watching. The day before I left, my niece asked me to lean down (she had lost her voice) and whispered to me, "Aunt Heidi, you have a very happy and pretty face without makeup". Next came the "Awwww" s and "You're so sweet!".
The more I thought about that exchange, the more it worried me. I do my makeup because it makes me feel good, and it makes me happy. I love everything cosmetics. But children don't know that, and I worry that the message I was sending is I can't be seen this way (naked face). Which for me personally, I do that quite often at home, but when you're on vacation, your picture is going to be taken quite a bit. There's nothing wrong with my face. I like my face. I agree that I have a happy pretty face without makeup, but I enjoy makeup so much that it is part of who I am. I may have made jokes about not being seen naked faced as well, which she may have taken a different way (which means I shouldn't joke that way!).
I don't want to give my niece (or any other little girls for that matter) a complex on beauty. No one really needs makeup. Some of us delude ourselves into thinking we do, where as others avoid makeup altogether in fear that it will cause a complex. I say wear it if you want. There is nothing wrong with it, especially if you're like me and just enjoy it.
I have a lot of qualities that others enjoy. I am weird, silly, funny and in general, a hoot to be around. I know this for a fact. I want people to remember me for those things. Somewhere along the way I have sent mixed messages about which is more important to me. I could live without makeup. I could. I don't want to, but I could.
I thought about writing about my vacation and all of the fun things we enjoyed, but I understand that reading about someone else's fun times can often be boring to others, so I will refrain from going into detail.
Some quick notes that I am sharing just so I can be held accountable: I caught myself judging others based on appearance. This is not something I usually do, but I am human. I apologize because that is the opposite of my message. I felt very disappointed in myself when I realized it. I know that I am not perfect, but I will do better. I love to read, thus I will read more on that subject and hope to absorb like a sponge. I know what it is like to be judged based on physical things and how much that hurts.
Next week, I will begin my new schedule with blogs being posted on Tuesdays and Fridays. Please watch out for my video tomorrow (Thursday). There are some cool things in my immediate future that I can't wait to share with you all.
Here I am with my husband in Seward, Alaska in front of a waterfall.
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