Why Hire an Image Consultant?

I've compiled a list of my top 5 reasons to hire a professional Image Consultant. If you find yourself on this list, you might benefit from my services, or someone like me- more local to you.

1. If you are going through any kind of identity transition, whether it be a divorce and trying to redefine who you are or want to be, if you recently lost or gained a significant amount of weight and are not sure how to dress your body anymore.

2. If you are trying to move up from a blue collar position to a white collar position and are unsure of how to do that. Or maybe you are already in a white collar position but would like a promotion, but need help with personal branding.

3. If you hate shopping, there is most likely an insecurity about what to choose, or immediate regret upon choosing something. Hiring a professional can eliminate a lot of the guess work.

4. If you are fresh out of college, and have never had a job before, or if you have been focusing on raising a family for quite sometime and are looking to go back into the work field with a huge gap in your resume.

5. If you simply don't like looking for clothes in your closet, or if you find yourself realizing you have so many clothes, but nothing to wear. An Image Consultant can help you organize and purge your closet in a way that will better suit your lifestyle.

Maybe you find that you're not on this list, but you know someone who is struggling with 1 of the above 5. Reach out to them and suggest it, or even better, share this post.

Not Just A Stylist

     I have to remind myself sometimes, that I am an Image Consultant. Not a stylist. Not a makeup artist. Not a Personal Shopper. Of course, I am all those things, but more importantly, I am an all encompassing Image Consultant. That means everything to do with image. If you suffer social anxiety, or don't know how to interview, or have low self esteem- those are all things that someone like me can help with. Sometimes my job is dark. There are times that in order to lift someone from the darkness of their own shame, you have to share your own.

     I believe living a life of transparency will help all avenues of your image. Be willing to share your own experiences with others; your failures, your awkward moments, and your successes. Guess what? If you're human, you've had an experience that lands in one of those 3 categories. When I share an experience on how I got through something, I have opened the door to relate to one more person. We are not so unique that others have not gone through what we have.

     Yes, there will always be a time for boundaries, but that's not what I'm talking about. If someone confides in you- please don't miss that opportunity to share. If I'm going through a hard time, I do not need to hear about the million things going right in your life. Please reach out and tell me if you've experienced something similar, even if we haven't gone through the same things, I can learn from you and your outlook. 

     

     

A Year Of Fitness

     A lot of you have been asking about my personal goal of making it an entire year of working out 3 times a week. I apologize for the delay. I hit the one year mark in April, and have kept going.

     There were days when I just did not feel like it. There were days I wish I hadn't. There were so many set backs, it's unreal. I had a car accident that required new modifications on what kind of exercise and how much, etc.

     I only missed two workouts in a year. One due to getting the flu, and the other right after a car accident. I haven't stuck with something for that long, ever. I realized that I can stay committed to a goal. I'm so much stronger than I have given myself credit for. I had set so many outrageous limits on myself. I said so many times, "I can't do this, while so sick."

     I started this fitness journey mainly because I have Crohn's Disease and fellow sufferers told me that regular exercise was life changing for their energy levels, joint problems, and mood. I'm going to be honest... I didn't experience any changes in any of those areas, which made it extra challenging to keep going. However, I did change in other ways; new muscles became more visible, my attitude changed for the better, I became more disciplined, and gained endurance. While those are not the things I started for, or hoped for- I certainly cannot complain about them.

     What's next? I continue! I keep learning new things about my body- what it responds well to, what it does not, new dietary restrictions and exercise modifications for optimum results. I find that I am doing this more for me and not my disease anymore, which takes a lot of pressure off. I'm grateful for those of you that held me accountable, spurred me on, and challenged me. Thank you for being my cheerleaders, and I hope I can return the favor.

Planned Parenthood (Trigger Warning)

     I went to Planned Parenthood. Yes, you read that right. I, Heidi Martin who was raised in a conservative Christian household, who was taught that Planned Parenthood was literally the devil, went there, and used their services. 

     Bear with me as I share some very personal information with you. I have only shared this with a select few, and certainly never saw myself writing about it on such a public platform. Breathe, Heidi. Here goes. 

     I was raped. I was a scared 14 year old girl who couldn't go to my parents, so I went to the only place I could think of. Enter Planned Parenthood. Let me tell you about that experience. I rode the bus by myself, and nervously went into the empty lobby (Thank God for that empty lobby, as it would never be empty for my future visits). 

     I timidly approached the receptionist and burst into tears as I choked out the words, "I've been raped". What happened next was one of the most empathetic and compassionate things someone in that setting could have done for me. She didn't hand me a clip board and have me fill out papers right away. She didn't even call a doctor or put me in the computer. She got up from her closed off desk, and walked around into the lobby. She then sat down with me and hugged me as I sobbed uncontrollably for what felt like hours. I don't even remember her name, but I think of her and what she did often.

     I thankfully was able to receive Plan B and prevent an unwanted pregnancy. I also received invaluable counseling and follow ups. I was able to get on the birth control pill without my parents' knowledge or judgment. They even called the police for me. 

     There is a lot of talk about "Planned Parenthood being this..." or "Planned Parenthood is that..." fill in the blank. You can find nice or nasty things to say about anything on the internet. I'm not doing that. I am simply here to tell you my personal experience. My concern is for scared, lonely 14 year olds who may not have a place to go if Planned Parenthood is shut down. From my personal experience, they were a gift from God, and I will forever be in debt to them and what they have done in my life.

An Open Letter to Someone I've Hurt

     The following is a letter I have been working on for a lost friendship that is on the mend. If anyone reading this has had a similar falling out with someone in their life, I would encourage you to write a letter to them or reach out in some way. Life is too short to hold grudges, or have too much pride over who might deserve blame.

     Dear Friend,

     I am writing to you because as you know, we got into a fight. A big one. I took a year and a half off of talking to you and having a relationship with you. I don't mean to rehash the past or open old wounds, but some things have been left unsaid and I wish to say something very important to you. Bear with me as I am known for my tough exterior.

     I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting my pride counteract my empathy and compassion. I'm sorry I refused to speak with you over our disagreement. I'm sorry I let my hurt feelings dictate how to respond. I'm sorry I abandoned you in a time you needed unconditional love and acceptance.

     I never meant for a year and a half of silence between us. I want to thank you for the years of relentless love that lead up to "that day"- you have no idea just how much you meant to me. In fact, I didn't know either. I couldn't believe how many nights I cried myself to sleep or lay awake because I didn't know what life without you looked like. Of course many nights turned into weeks, months, and then a year. I was baffled by how much I still thought about you and dare I say- deeply care for you. 

     Here is what life looked like- in many ways it was the same, but something was missing. I have lost loved ones, I even had one of my dearest friends pass away. This felt a lot like that. I would see something that reminded me of our friendship and reach for my phone, only to realize I could no longer do that. Life was very empty without your larger than life personality in it.

     I'm sorry that instead of facing my demons, I chose not to acknowledge their existence. I'm sorry I chose to run when things got difficult instead of weathering the storm with you. 

     Thank you for allowing me back into your life, and showing me that vulnerability can be a strength. Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeve and being an outwardly emotional person, as I had no idea just how much I needed that in my life. I know we can't have that time back, but I sure hope you will let me attempt to make up for it.

     I want you to know that I am here. I will not run. If challenges come up, I will do my best to face them with you. Feel free to call me out when I don't. I also want to thank Adele for the perfect timing of her release "Hello" which made me email you. I love you, and moving forward I will follow your example of jumping with both feet. 

With much love and humility,
The Very Sorry Lydia to your Lizzie (or Bekah to your Paula)

Crohn's - The Ugly Truth

     As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease last summer. I have been on an emotional and physical roller coaster ever since. 

     I get asked a lot, "What is that?" To which a timid Heidi that I didn't know existed replies with something to the effect of, "It's an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation". The following are responses that I have actually gotten after telling someone I have Crohn's Disease;

"I don't know what that is, but I have something similar" 

"Oh I know all about that because my friend's cousin has that or something close to it"

"I don't know what that is, but I hope you get cured soon"

"There's a special diet for that"

"Is that what's causing your weight gain?"

"It can't be that bad, you don't look sick"

      I have nothing against those responses, they have helped make something very clear- there is very little awareness for this disease. I at one point have probably said something very similar to a fellow sufferer.

Allow me to give you some facts about this disease:

1) Crohn's causes rapid production of white blood cells (antibodies) which then results in your body attacking itself as though you were one big infection.

2) Crohn's Disease can affect both intestines, the colon, joints, eyes, and mouth.

3) Crohn's is chronic, so sufferers will have it for their lifetime.

4) Between 70-90% of sufferers will need to have surgery.

     I am not usually honest with people who ask me about my disease. I feel like I am protecting them. "Who would really want to know about that" I ask myself. The problem with that, is I have become more and more isolated with that line of thought. Well I have to LIVE with it. Why shouldn't I tell people who ask? 

      Before I started my road to remission (haha!), my every day life consisted of waking up with horrible stomach pain, and having a very painful bowel movement first thing in the morning. After every meal I either had to run to the bathroom or crawl depending on my pain level. It felt like someone was scraping my insides over and over with a knife and occasionally stabbing. There was blood in almost all of my bowel movements- which was sometimes as frequent as 12 times a day (aren't you glad you decided to read this?!), and I had debilitating exhaustion/fatigue. My joints ached and I was on edge a lot. I'm considered a "mild" case. Please hug someone who says they have moderate or severe.

     After the diagnosis I began the unfortunate roller coaster of medication and side effects as I had now become an experiment. I have been on medications that cause horrible acne (when I have never in my life had to deal with acne before), insomnia, weight gain, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, even more fatigue (I didn't know that existed!), and the list goes on. I am currently relying on my husband to give me injections every other week into my stomach with a medication that does not work on me, while I'm waiting for insurance to decide if it is worth it for them to try another treatment.

     I have read countless blogs and articles written by fellow sufferers that talk about how fitness has changed their life. I don't know how anyone has the energy to workout regularly, but decided I would work out a minimum of 3 times a week for a whole year. I just completed 5 months and 1 week without skipping any workouts, and sometimes doing more. I will finish my year of fitness. I wish I could tell you it has changed my life and I look forward to waking up every morning, but that would make me a huge liar. I fight through the fatigue, I fight through the feeling of being hit by a car. 

     If this experience has taught me anything, it is this; we as humans are resilient. We are capable of more than we ever imagined. I didn't know I had this much fight in me until I got knocked down... A lot. I am stronger than I know. YOU are stronger than you know. Whatever battle you're fighting, whether it is internal, physical or beyond- you can handle it, and the outcome is worth the struggle. Be gentle with yourself and others, as we cannot know what each of us is going through. If you are feeling alone, please reach out. I'm so glad I did, and I am still here. I don't know everyone who reads this, but I love you, and you are not alone. 

If you are interested in hearing someone else's thoughts on chronic illness, please take the 3.5 minutes to watch Hank Green do a spectacular job of articulating what it's like to live with a chronic illness.

https://youtu.be/3krVl6UMIeo

Crohn's Disease and Self Love

     Wow, it sure has been a long time. I thought I had written everything there was to write about self image... And then I got sick.

     I have had yet another surgery on my nose- reconstructive this time. I was not allowed to lift weights for 6 months and for the first time, I experienced muscle atrophy as well as significant weight gain. When I finally got the go ahead for getting back in the gym, I was experiencing major fatigue and stomach pain. I felt like I was dying. As of July of last year, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. 

     Although I am grateful for answers, this disease has taken a huge toll on my confidence and self image. Chronic illness is not always visible and often very difficult to talk about.

     I am a massive extrovert and need constant companionship, however for the first time in my life I didn't want to be near people, and would opt to stay home for a weekend over getting out of the house and doing something with friends. My relationships have suffered over the last year, and I am still struggling to find balance.

     My greatest joy still comes from expressing myself through makeup and fashion, and helping others do the same. I lost view of that while wallowing in self pity, but am slowly picking up the pieces.

     If you are struggling with loving yourself, grab hold of those who lift your spirits and redefine/rediscover your passion. 

     Loving the person in the mirror has very little to do with what you're physically looking at. You are loved. You are worth it.